Homesick

It is time to come home. Who knew I'd feel this way? But it's like before I came to India, I couldn't envision it at all. Now I can't imagine that in a mere 5 days I will be home in my apartment in New York. Right now I am in Rishikesh on the banks of the Ganges and then I will be in Inwood near the banks of the Hudson. Huh?

I am an exhausted girl. I want to go home even though I love India, especially Bombay and my kids. I have to say a real goodbye to them on Monday and I don't know how to do it. We already had our big farewell, and it seems a little odd for me to pop in and say it all again. I can't stand leaving them here.

I did not have a romance in India. This is very good. I'm always having entirely stupid meaningless romances and if I'd made any real effort I probably could have had one here. But I made a decision not to. Aren't you proud of me?

My mind is very scattered right now. I had to wake up at 4:00 to catch a bus to Rishikesh and slept for only about 45 minutes of the 9+ hour journey.

When I went to Switzerland for the summer of 1999, I felt overwhelmed and frustrated with how little German I seemed to be learning. And then I came home and that fall my German improved by leaps and bounds. It was like stuff was seeping into my brain all summer but I couldn't process it until I was out of the stressful situation. This surely will happen again this time. I have wandered through India sort of in a daze, totally unable to take it all in. I am excited to see what I've learned.

Oh I am a bit melancholy. I don't know why. I feel a bit forgotten. I am sure I will go home and my cats won't remember me. There is really no one whose life my absence disrupts.