Four years six months plus

I don't entirely know why I am choosing to write again. Maybe a dissatisfaction.

I hate my job. It is upsetting and demoralizing. But doesn't it always come to this? Maybe I am just not a good worker. Maybe I have a strange sense of entitlement.

I just think that if I work 90 hours in a week, I should get some sort of acknowledgement. Instead of radio silence. Instead of annoyance that I dare take days off since I've had a strep since February 24th.

I am about ready to quit. Just quit, start substitute teaching and find some other random job.

Other things that have happened since October 2008:

My boyfriend and I broke up.

I left my job in DC.

I left DC.

I drove across the country with my cats.

I came back to Salt Lake City and became part of a family again.

I started working as an instructional designer.

I gained a lot of weight.

My dad was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma.

I lost some weight.

My daddy died.

I gained 50 pounds.

I live in squalor.

I will probably have my tonsils out.


I think I'm going to go to graduate school to become an elementary school teacher.

My dad really is still part of my life.

I have been travelling around Utah quite a bit.

In fact, maybe this resurrection will include a chronicle of my various jauntings.

Mostly I am tired, sick, broke, fat, lonely, dehydrated, malnourished, blah blah blah.

I have been reading Rolling Stone lately and trying for the first time in my life to know what music is popular NOW. I find I like hip-hop with lots of profanity. It is somehow therapeutic. If I start jogging again, I will jog to this music.