Wednesday, April 05, 2006

A Bad Neighbor

So late last night, I saw a white envelope poking under my apartment door. It looked just like the envelopes that contain rent statements, and I was confused because I had just sent in my rent. Luckily, there is no confusion about my rent. Unluckily, this is what was in the envelope:

Apt. X-X Occupant
To: Apt X-X occupant
Hereby you are asked for your cooperation with the following requests:
-1. Try to avoid wearing noisy shoes on bare wood floors while walking around your apartment.
-2. Prevent door slamming - in particular the closets doors.
Those sounds are really bothersome and unfair to the other apartment tenants.
This is a multiple dwelling building, therefore private house conduct is not the way to go.
The other tentants above, below and beside you (as well as you), deserve respect and consideration.
A Tenant's Association is currently being formed and issues like this can be brought to their attention as well as to the "Building Management".
Please, be understanding of this request. It will be very much appreciated by all of us.
We Thank you for your cooperation and respect.
Well, I was very saddened by this. I nearly never wear shoes in my apartment, and I certainly don't go around slamming my closets. The only thing I can think is that I scoop out the kitty litter usually pretty late at night and wear these little hard-soled mules when I do. I guess I will change to flip-flops. It is true one of my closets is pretty temperamental and gets difficult to close, but I rarely use this closet and when I do it's usually during the day.
I would think that the main complaint my neighbors have against me is that sometimes I play my music too loud or have the TV on too loud (I'm a trifle deef), though not generally late at night; I'm not that rude. But as you can see, there was no mention of this. For this reason, I wondered if this was some kind of form letter given to everyone. So I peeked into the hall to see if there were white envelopes poking under my two immediate neighbors' doors too, but there weren't. Of course, two doors is hardly a survey, but I feel that I have indeed been singled out.
Who wrote this? The people right below me? How many people live there (i.e., who is "all of us"?)? What should I do in the face of this veiled threat to be reported to the nascent Tenant's Association?!


At April 05, 2006 10:10 PM, Blogger Saroo said...

Oh Lolly!

What kind of crazies live in your building? It totally reminds me of the Friends episode where Mr. Heckles is complaining that they are making too much noise. Then he dies and leaves all his belongings to "the noisy girls upstairs" and while they are cleaning out his apartment they realize that you could hear every footstep above. funny.

I love your blog btw!

At April 06, 2006 3:14 PM, Blogger JL said...

It sounds like BS to me. Was there a signature or name on it? If it were for real then somebody would have put a name on it. I'd tape it up by the mailboxes so everyone can see it with some sort of penciled comment that's really clever. I just can't think of any clever comments right now. But really, you close your closets too loudy? Give me a break.

At April 07, 2006 10:30 AM, Anonymous criz said...

Yeah, it's just some obsessive freak who's too chicken to own up to his/her freakishness by actually making him/herself known. I remember going to a friend's apartment in New York and he called his up stairs neighbors "the Walkers", because WHY? They WALKED, that's why and he was so insensed by it. "Why don't those people up there stop walking!" he would growl. People are just crazy, that's all.

At April 07, 2006 5:11 PM, Blogger Harlem Snowflake said...

Sounds like something I would do if bothered by a neighbor - make up a letter claiming to be a larger entity than just me in fear of retribution...That said, I'm not bothered by walking or closets, more like crackheads and toilet seats being thrown in the hallway, so that's just me.

I would be totally paranoid about it, too. But it's NYC, baby, what do they expect?

At April 13, 2006 9:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think that's totally and completely rude! Doesn't your neighbor realize it would be - news flash - neighborly, to come talk to you in person and just let you know that a few things are loud? Of course you'd be more than happy to comply to make their lives and living space more pleasant. Since they weren't that thoughtful, here's what I suggest. Every time you, now very quietly, close your closet, or walk slipper footed across your floor, think to yourself.. "I'm such a thoughtful neighbor" or "my neighbors are so lucky to live near me." And it will be true! Loves to you Lollygaggery... em em emmer


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