Friday, April 07, 2006

This May Be a Little Too Graphic for Some

Today I was on the toilet (as I'm sure most of us were at some point today).

My pants were down around my ankles and in walks Mr. Burkett (my youngest cat) and plops herself down in my pants. This is the sort of thing she does and I was not surprised at all. But I was overwhelmed by her exceeding cuteness. She is the cutest thing on the planet.

Since I'm talking about my cats, I may as well REALLY talk about my cats (the only thing I'm truly good at talking about):

Mr. Bob Burkett is 8 months old (today! Happy Birthday Mr. B!). She is all black with Dijon-mustard eyes. She was born in my closet last summer when I was staying with my parents. Her mother, Roxy, had taken a liking to me and insisted upon my being her midwife (i.e. she meowed like crazy whenever I would try to walk away when she was in labor, plus she bit me right before giving birth to the first kitty). So I've known Mr. B all her life. She got her name in the following ways:

When I was a child I loved the movie My Favorite Wife with Cary Grant and Irene Dunne. There's a scene in that movie where a pageboy is paging a character named Steven Burkett (played by Randolph Scott). He wanders the Pacific Club yelling "Paging Mr. Burkett," and even sometimes sounds like he's singing. So I started wandering the house singing "Paging Mr. Burkett," modulating up and down and up and down and driving my siblings crazy. Last summer I took to calling Roxy "Mistress Baby" (don't ask) and I would call to her in the tune of "Paging Mr. Burkett." So I decided I must name my kitten Mr. Burkett because it would be so jolly to have a reason to sing the Mr. Burkett tune on a regular basis.

Now for the Bob part. One day, also when I was in SLC last summer, my sister C and I were coming out of her apartment and there was a nice-looking short-tailed black and white cat hanging around. It was wearing a collar and tag, so I approached it and found out its name was Bob. This was obviously because of its short tail, but I thought it was very funny for a cat to be named Bob. So anyway, the address on the tag was a couple of blocks away, so C and I decided we might want to take the cat closer to its home. I picked up Bob (which I realize was not the best of ideas), and he turned around and boxed my ears (really he missed and hit my cheeks, but I don't think you can say "he boxed my cheeks") and leaped out of my arms. C and I nearly died laughing at this tricky cat and I then determined I must name my cat after him.

So that is how my little girl cat came to be named Mr. Bob Burkett. She is crazy. She likes to hop into the (empty) bathtub and scratch really fast on the sides of the tub. I think she can see her reflection in the porcelain or something. But she just goes absolutely crazy. When I play with her she likes to wrap her front paws around my arm and kick me with her hind legs and bite my fingers. Then she remembers that it hurts me when she bites my fingers and she switches to licking. She purrs at the drop of a hat and makes really creepy clicking noises when she sees a bird or squirrel in the outside tree. She likes to jump up and swipe things that are magneted to the fridge. She wakes me up with insistent meowing every morning very early even if she has food in her dish. She is VERY bad. She is currently sitting right on my mouse pad. She always finds the most inconvenient places to sit. It is among her most endearing traits.

Okay. I am tired! I think I will save the woeful tale of Isis (my older cat) for another post.


At April 09, 2006 1:50 PM, Blogger lily said...

That is the most hilarious cat. I wish I could remember which one she was in the litter. What is up w/ the clicking noises?

At April 09, 2006 1:52 PM, Blogger lily said...

Also, my hubby says that anyone who could name their cat Mr. Bob Burkett you just have to love. Traddles does the same thing with the wrapping and biting then licking. I think he is part cat.

At April 09, 2006 3:31 PM, Blogger Lollygagger said...


She was pretty nondescript as a kitten. She was actually the only one I never really considered taking. But you DID consider taking her. When you were trying to figure out a way to convince R to want a cat, she was the one you said you'd want. She's all black and was really kind of mangy as a kitten (I think Roxy didn't bathe her very well). When I was still in SLC she was not interactive at all, though she did start to be a little more adventurous like my last week there. Apparently after I left she became really outgoing and was the only one that wouldn't hide when a human would come into the kitten room.

At April 10, 2006 6:00 PM, Anonymous chriz said...

Just so ya know, Bob is still wandering the neighborhood. He often comes to my window above the piano and looks in at me. He always lets me pet him, although I have never tried to pick him up for fear of an ear-boxing. Next time I see him I'll tell him you named Mr. Burkett after him, I'm sure he'll be flattered.

At April 10, 2006 8:06 PM, Blogger Harlem Snowflake said...

woa - I thought you were describing BOTH of my cats together for a bit. Fonzi (the all black cat) goes in the bathroom sink, and scratches all over it, and then curls up in it - I think because it is perfectly his size (the photo is on my blog). He also jumps at magnets obsessively on my fridge. The Doodle (big orange guy) makes what we call "Kacking" sounds at birds out the window - sort of like, "ka-ka-kacck, kacck." Fonzi has not done this yet. I got Fonzi at two weeks and bottle-fed him so I am REALLY his mother. Also, he seems to think that my nose is a bottle or something, because at night or whenever he wants to calm down, he sits on my chest and purrs and licks my nose like he used to lick his bottle. It totally grosses other people out, and I understand, but it genuinely makes him so happy, and then he falls asleep. It's the closest thing to motherhood I can imagine. (hehe) Also, The Doodle boxes all the time, you have seen this yourself! Also, and this is possibly the weirdest and cutest thing of all: The Doodle has a stuffed animal, an orange Tigger stuffed toy, that he has adopted. In the morning, I wake up and it is on the bed next to where he is curled up. In the evening when we are watching tv, we see The Doodle come in, carrying Tigger in his mouth like a kitten. He brings it nearly to our feet, then meows at it twice, licks it a bit then comes over to us to pet him. This is the only time I ever hear him meow. Ever! And it is pretty much the only time he wants us to pet him of his own volition.

There you go. I, too, could go on and on....

At April 10, 2006 8:07 PM, Blogger Harlem Snowflake said...

Oh! I forgot! Fonzi SITS ON MY LAP WHILE I AM ON THE TOILET! I know I should stop this habit, but he just jumps us and digs in when I try to put him down. And it's also cute and he's fuzzy and warm.

I'm gross, right?

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At April 13, 2006 7:14 PM, Blogger JL said...

She sounds just like my crazy cat Emmylou. I found her in the alley behind my building. She loves to play in the bathtub climbing on the sides of the walls. She used to jump off of the walls when I had a hallway. Like your Mr. she also loves to fight with my hand kicking it with her feet. Does your cat knock stuff over for fun?


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